There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
