Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team

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  (503): I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team http://tfl.nu/ke7v
  Replies (42) Good night (6153) Bad night (1046)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.

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  (401): Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick. http://tfl.nu/vuwe
  Replies (17) Good night (1366) Bad night (4276)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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  (720): I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands... http://tfl.nu/51q8
  Replies (25) Good night (1400) Bad night (4075)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

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  (319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc
  Replies (37) Good night (10989) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

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  (253): The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued. http://tfl.nu/lx8b
  Replies (21) Good night (4980) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

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  (540): my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited. http://tfl.nu/8ftm
  Replies (27) Good night (16533) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?

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  (724): He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl? http://tfl.nu/b3zj
  Replies (12) Good night (876) Bad night (1991)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy

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  (651): I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy http://tfl.nu/d161
  Replies (18) Good night (2288) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.

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  (270): I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely. http://tfl.nu/i6l6
  Replies (5) Good night (3263) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"

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  (703): She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose" http://tfl.nu/hdxg
  Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm driving while wearing hulk hands

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  (954): I'm driving while wearing hulk hands http://tfl.nu/9u1l
  Replies (9) Good night (1845) Bad night (648)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.

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  (254): We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans. http://tfl.nu/t9r6
  Replies (5) Good night (841) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house

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  (812): Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house http://tfl.nu/563g
  Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray

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  (970): Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray http://tfl.nu/kfk1
  Replies (3) Good night (329) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?

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  (818): Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding? http://tfl.nu/07ft
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (207)

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