I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs