remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.