that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
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One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.