i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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