Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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