some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
