You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
