Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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