she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him