I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
