Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
