dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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