Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
