and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
