Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
