Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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