I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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