so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
