I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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