there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
