It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
