I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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