If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize