Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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