I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
