She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
