the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I need a beard to bite.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
