So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Who died my cat blue again?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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