He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
