i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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