when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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