On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize