will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
