Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Now it won't go down.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You've got a gift.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Now it won't go down. (512): You've got a gift. http://tfl.nu/m37i
  Replies (2) Good night (1346) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd. http://tfl.nu/ry1b
  Replies (23) Good night (585) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C. http://tfl.nu/06rr
  Replies (23) Good night (7057) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit http://tfl.nu/gfh9
  Replies (45) Good night (5342) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale? http://tfl.nu/nfui
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (2087)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark.. http://tfl.nu/eret
  Replies (12) Good night (2113) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads. http://tfl.nu/vfmt
  Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1riw
  Replies (21) Good night (847) Bad night (1530)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms. http://tfl.nu/d3j8
  Replies (13) Good night (2144) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.

  (1248): View more from

  That'll put some boobs in that bra.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it. (1248): That'll put some boobs in that bra. http://tfl.nu/9gj6
  Replies (5) Good night (1578) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!?? http://tfl.nu/bcjv
  Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before. http://tfl.nu/erll
  Replies (7) Good night (1915) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully. http://tfl.nu/5ynt
  Replies (4) Good night (1080) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (450): View more from Quebec

  If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (450): If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/1adz
  Replies (12) Good night (1260) Bad night (492)

Randomize