He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.