Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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  (732): Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD. http://tfl.nu/fbqj
  Replies (9) Good night (658) Bad night (3206)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song

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  (253): To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song http://tfl.nu/rtr4
  Replies (17) Good night (2645) Bad night (876)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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  (207): She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird. http://tfl.nu/49lo
  Replies (20) Good night (7880) Bad night (2215)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house

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  (931): I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house http://tfl.nu/8rln
  Replies (18) Good night (1034) Bad night (5405)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

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  (617): Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero. http://tfl.nu/4xtx
  Replies (33) Good night (1842) Bad night (5150)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

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  (610): i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition http://tfl.nu/g0ip
  Replies (14) Good night (933) Bad night (5113)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night

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  (206): buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night http://tfl.nu/bj1f
  Replies (7) Good night (3072) Bad night (842)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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  (517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg
  Replies (8) Good night (2018) Bad night (1133)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  How did you make it to work sans hangover?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols

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  (660): How did you make it to work sans hangover? (816): 4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols http://tfl.nu/2csk
  Replies (8) Good night (2121) Bad night (1230)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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  (+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww
  Replies (13) Good night (1406) Bad night (674)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.

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  (989): I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night. http://tfl.nu/dsb1
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (417)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what

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  (860): Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what http://tfl.nu/zlfv
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (318)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?

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  (440): Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth? http://tfl.nu/sdk1
  Replies (2) Good night (326) Bad night (676)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"

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  (306): you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!" http://tfl.nu/t9vt
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (677)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...

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  (717): I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster... http://tfl.nu/hyfg
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (208)

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