Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

A better fuck for starters.

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(818): View more from California

dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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(812): View more from Indiana

How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..

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(512): View more from Texas

Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis

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(239): View more from Florida

Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed

(630): View more from Illinois

Go me

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm actually proud

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