the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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