SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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