Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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