Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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