im having a threesome with these popsicles
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize