Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
