i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
