My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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