dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
