my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
