Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
