When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
