I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize