I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
