I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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