So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My penis needs a shock collar
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
