did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
