do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
