Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
