Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
