someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
