I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
