Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
