genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
