Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
