I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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